


A look into the past

by BiUnicorn



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Murder, Panic Attacks, Past Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Vampires, don't take it too serious, idk - Freeform, it's just a fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 04:37:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15549771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BiUnicorn/pseuds/BiUnicorn
Summary: Nicole starts to remember her past and her connection with the Bulshar's cult and Waverly's there to comfort her.





	A look into the past

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS: Panick Attack, Violence, Death and Blood.
> 
> I've told you.
> 
>  
> 
> Hello folks, here I am, once again.  
> This is just me messing arround after last week's episode.
> 
> All mistakes are mine.

It was 3 days after Dolls death. After 3 days of mourning and exacerbated alcoholism, Wynonna took her free pass to the female penitentiary, her motorcycle, and left unannounced. Jeremy dealt with grieve differently, isolated in his small apartment in the heart of Purgatory, listening to his playlist of sad songs, trying to understand what went wrong with the drug’s formula. Nicole had visited him the day before, to make sure the boy was alive at the very least. There was no word from Doc who, after a full day of whiskey, got into his car and left, also unannounced.

Waverly tried to be rational, but her anxiety wouldn’t let her do anything other than look up old books about Bulshar. Perhaps she had let something pass, maybe she was incompetent in her research, which has taken her up to the present moment ... with each page studied her anxiety increased and nothing seemed to fill the empty space left by the death of Dolls.

At the end of her daytime patrol, Nicole finds Waverly asleep in the BBD's office. Nicole wakes her up and takes her to the homestead.

 

Nicole was supposed to be Waverly's rock.

 

But she couldn’t be as long as she continued to have recurrent panic attacks. At least Nicole thought, at the moment she woke abruptly in the middle of the night, after another nightmare.

Nicole was cold, her hands shaking and she felt as if she couldn’t breathe. Waverly was still sleeping, now under 4 blankets, peacefully. Nicole couldn’t get far, she got out of bed, but not being able to reason right, much less breathe, she leaned against the wall of the room and felt her legs lose their strength, making her sit on the floor of the dark room.

The tears began quietly, turning into a desperate sob as memories began to pass like a movie in Nicole's head.

 

_The ten-year-old girl walked alone among the massacred crowd. It was a festival of horrors, mutilated bodies forming mounds and blood everywhere. The girl looked at her own bloody hands and felt sick._

__

_"Help!" She cried out in tears._

__

_And she screamed and screamed, she ran until she had no strength and fell to the floor, waking hours or months later, she had no idea how much time had passed, only knew that she suddenly knew nothing about her own past._

__

_The nurses called her Nicole, at least that was in the ID the cops handed, days after asking questions she couldn’t answer._

__

_Nicole didn’t remember her life before waking up in that hospital with a sling on her arm and a plastered leg, she didn’t know who her parents were, but she had been sent to a foster home when she left the hospital._

 

"Nicole?"

 

_"Mom!" The girl screamed in terror._

__

_"Run, my love, run away!" Said the woman, seconds before falling to the ground in a pool of blood._

__

_The girl closed her eyes hatefully and ran in the opposite direction, bumping into someone. She opened her eyes and stared desperately at the black woman with blood running down her mouth._

__

_"Please don’t kill me!" The girl pleaded._

__

_For a millisecond the woman's gaze showed mercy._

__

_"Close your eyes and count to ten. I promise it won’t hurt." she ordered._

__

_The girl closed her eyes, shaking._

__

_"One…."_

__

_She began, tears streaming down her face._

__

_"Two, three…"_

__

_"Very good."_

__

_"Four, five." The girl cringed._

__

_"Six..."_

__

_"I promise it won’t hurt..."_

__

_"Seven, eight..." she sobbed as she felt a hand on her shoulder._

__

_"Nine…"_

__

_"Contessa?"_

__

_"Ten."_

__

_Nothing happened._

__

_The girl opened her eyes and was alone._

 

"Nicole, love?"

In the midst of sobs Nicole opened her eyes and saw Waverly. But Nicole couldn’t focus, she couldn’t breathe.

"Nicole, please look at me," Waverly begged, slowly approaching.

Nicole gasped and Waverly was frightened. She touched the redhead's arm and Nicole woke up from her numbness and lay still for a few seconds, looking terrified at Waverly.

"Hey, it's _me_." Waverly said quietly, with open arms offering Nicole the space. "It's okay, Nicole, I’ve got you."

Nicole was reluctant, but ended up throwing herself into Waverly's arms, crying.

"I... I don’t..." Nicole sobbed.

" _Shh..._ " Waverly interrupted, stroking Nicole's back. "It's okay, everything will be okay, you’re safe..."

Gradually Nicole's breathing returned to normal and the sobs ceased. Nicole remained in Waverly's arms, holding her tight. Waverly remained silent until the moment Nicole stepped away, corrected her posture but kept her head down.

"Dolls _were_ helping me to find some connection I may had with the Bulshar’s cult." Nicole said anxiously. "Now I'm beginning to understand, I'm beginning to remember and Waverly ..."

The anxiety in Nicole's voice increased. Waverly reached out and Nicole held her.

"Waverly, I am the survivor Black Badge mentioned in the files about the cult."

"Oh my God..." Waverly said slowly, sighing and squeezing Nicole's hand, not knowing how to react to the information. "Okay, it's okay... do you want to share this with me?"

"I never told you, but I don’t remember anything about my life before I was ten years old... One day I woke up in a hospital without knowing what was happening, the nurses said it was an accident, but I didn’t remember anything until listen to his name. Suddenly, there were flashes and I saw myself in a valley, screaming for help and running and..." Nicole was feeling anxious again, but Waverly's hand in her kept her in the present.

"Hey, it's okay..."

"No!" Nicole interrupted in frustration. "I... I clearly remember what happened before! They killed my mother and... I ran and I found one of them... she asked me to count and... she promised that I wouldn’t feel anything. She promised and disappeared, and I was alone in the middle of it all..."

"Nicole..."

"They killed my parents in front of me!" Nicole collapsed again and Waverly couldn’t hold back her own tears.

"Nicole, I'm so sorry."

Waverly held the redhead again, and they wept silently for several minutes.

"We'll get through this, and I'll be by your side, Nicole. We're going to break this curse, we're going to bring Alice back and I'll help you figure out the truth." Waverly brushed a lock of hair from Nicole's face, wiped away the tear that kept on pouring down her lover's face and cupped her face .

"And I'll be here to help you heal this wound. Because I love you, Nicole. I've never loved anyone like I love you. "

"I love you, Waverly."

"Well, that's good to hear." Waverly whispered with a brief smile at the corner of her mouth. Then Waverly bent down, kissing Nicole.

 

"Waves?" Nicole whispered after the two of them lay in bed and turned off the lights again.

"Yes?" Waverly asked, holding Nicole's body.

" _You_ are my rock.”


End file.
